Byron Katie explains a post: “Your partner’s flaws are your own, because you’re projecting them.” ®

“If my partner has a flaw, who is believing that?” Byron Katie says. “Where’s the flaw? If I’m the one seeing it, I am its creator.” Katie offers a personal example of …


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Byron Katie explains a post: “Your partner’s flaws are your own, because you’re projecting them.” ®

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  1. This is not a clear concept to understand. Who is this "I" who is creating the flaw? Has it been identified? Is it the same "I" that is perceiving the flaw? Is it also the same "I" that has judged that this action is indeed a flaw? So am "I" the one that creates everything I see? Isn't it possible to perceive the "creations" of "others"? And, I really don't know who "I" am, so how can I know it's really my flaw?

  2. I watch this after I’m angry that my boyfriend ate my portion of bacon this morning for breakfast…the very bacon I left yesterday for myself to enjoy today…so naturally I think he is super selfish …because I always leave his portion and wouldn’t dare touch it. How on earth am I projecting my creation on him? My mind is flawed for wanting my portion of bacon? I didn’t get mad or say a word to him but today I’m trying to work through it using your advice…so I’m angry at myself for being selfish? I’m angry at myself for not securing my portion of the bacon?
    I yigh yigh…all I know is I’m hungry and the story that comes to mind is he it to blame for being selfish… I cannot seem to see I’m selfish here…

  3. I was wondering how she did respond to her husband's accusations and threats. She only gave the example of how she didn't respond. Still, insightful.

  4. I admire this women for doing the work with Bryon Katie, and sharing her raw feelings. She is curageous and so beautiful, this helped me look at myself..Thank you Thank you, you are lovely ~ the power of healing came from her talking about her fears and then looking at the realty of her thoughts…My thoughts were always and still can be the source of my suffering when i allow them to dictate who i am. When i do the Work like this beautiful women did, i am free..Very powerful ~ Thank you

  5. women who stay in abusive relationships with men who psychologically and physically abusive are so beaten down they can't leave and often times have not money of their own. They have very little choice if any. The abusers flaws are their own. Let them own their own bullshit and head to a woman's shelter.

  6. This is a bit dangerous because, the man's behavior matters. If others flee, he likely has a behavioral problem. It IS useless and incorrect to say "he's flawed", but his behavior does matter. Do not discount behavior. Yes, seek to understand it, but do not minimize it. Lots of young men out hurting, robbing others and all their family can say is "he's a good boy". Well, his behavior isn't good. It's dangerous.

  7. "I am the creator" ???
    In another video Katie says "There is no free will, no control" (and I totally agree)
    …Which would mean, EVERYTHING that happens is a legitimate expression of life and it just plays "good" and "evil".

    Sorry, but I finally get it. Katie's idea of our "true nature" is bullshit.

    The work is a nice technique to step out of some thought systems.
    But overall you have to even leave the work behind to step into the freedom that life truly is.

  8. "Our pure nature is love". Is it cos of we have this innate need to express love and we don't like ourselves when we're not doing that? Cool.

    I understand what you're saying about projeting your partners flaws. When I have insecure thinking and ideas about my partner not working hard enough or being shallow, etc, it's really in some way something I don't want for myself. Or when I think "you don't love me", I'm actually worried about myself. So I'm the creator. And there's no real flaws.

  9. Her work can be powerful in healing ourselves and having a better understanding for ourselves. However, I personally do not agree with some of her teaching methods. it seems flawed to me. While we can see something for what it is and not dwell on our interpretation, there are so many sociopaths, narcissistics, psycopaths out there. An issue is not limited to just the "content" of the subject. It involves real Human beings with different upbringing and disorders and many other factors. To dismis something as if it is all in our projection is bs to me. I am sorry. I have been to landmark and had many coachings and what not. Manipulative people use the power of words to confuse normal people with issues and all they do is drag them further down then lifting them up! Are we saying not to follow our gut instinct? or that everything is so simplified in mumbo jumbo!? It's almost like creating a nation full of people who are dumbfounded and confused by actually what is happening.

  10. The reason the work is so hard is because we have to become completely different human beings to have what we want, which is peace and freedom like Katie has. It's just too far of a stretch to seem realistic some times

  11. Byron Katie is Right" ………………………..all the way' ………the main stuff' is in our Subconcious" / Unconcious" ..we are Not aware of it" ……….so we think' It's them" ..but it's U s" ……………

  12. I can't make up my mind about Katie. The Work can be very useful but it has its limits or maybe its the way its taught. I use inquiry to clarify my thinking when there are difficult decisions to make, e.g. if a partner is not meeting my needs no amount of turning it around is going to change it.  However, when it comes to Katie as a person I don't know if she is truly enlightened or still suffering from mental illness. In some of her earlier interviews she talks about being a "walk-in", i.e. she swapped bodies with the original Katie, took over her identity so to speak, and that was the moment she "woke up". That is why she had to re-learn everything as she was new to the planet. She has subsequently dropped that little story about herself. I get a feeling she sometimes still doesn't know how this world operates.

  13. i get it the way Katie means it. Its pretty deep. When I am super mad at my co worker for example, and put her down in my mind, if I didn't put her down, but just realize that we both see things differently- come from a different place…It doesnt sting any more. I just need to learn to let people have their differences of opinions, make their own choices, let them be who they are, and I will be back to my true nature which is love. Hope this wasn't too wordy.

  14. I get it. I totally get this. Thank you for the example, Katie. I think this will be quite informative for my own relationships. 🙂 Everything anyone ever does is an expression of their desire to feel good, or "to experience the love that is our true nature." Even when we're feeling frightened.

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